Just a few China myths for you, courtesy of the New Yorker…

My favorite?

“The Internet might be censored but it can never be rolled back in China”

and

“China is a land of no siblings.” (People always ask about that one).

Read more: http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/evanosnos/2009/12/top-ten-china-myths-of-2009.html#ixzz0ZrkhjSiB

I am one of the only foreigners in the building of about 4000 people. So needless to say, I’m well known around the compound. I’m the giant who comes from “jiānádà” (Canada).

In the beginning they (the three elderly women and two older men) used to just stare at me and to be honest, I felt somewhat nervous of their stares. But over time, as my Mandarin slowly improved, we started to chat more. Over time, we started to laugh more and now, every day when I come home, I grin when I see them.

Most days, the women tell me they like my hair or eyes. They like my pale white skin. The men, on the other hand, LOVE my bike. They often motion to it and talk about it. Today, as I was wheeling the bike up the ramp (I also love that there’s a ramp as well as stairs) one of the men came over to it and started inspecting the bike. He gave me a thumbs up sign. He asked me a question, and I wasn’t quite sure what he meant but judging by his gestures, he wanted to try out my bike. Seriously, the man is like 80 years old. I smiled. I was totally going to let him try my bike.

The women started laughing and laughing and we all watched as he rolled the bike onto the flat surface, shakily got on and then tried the accelerator (electric bike). He lurched forward, we all gasped and I close my eyes (silently begging that no, I would not be the one responsible for killing the 80-year-old man on my electric bicycle).

And then in a moment he was off, racing around the courtyard while the neighbors laughed and cheered. Round and round and round he went, his funny round glasses slipping down his nose in the heat. He laughed and laughed and we laughed and laughed.

And it was marvelous.

A “level 3″ stare…

Fine, fine, it’s not a game. I couldn’t come up with a title. I’m lame.

At any rate, I do want to talk about staring. Now, I am stared at here. Is this a surprise? Not really, considering my height and the way I look. I’m stared at here on a level that I have never experienced outside of China, including the entire continent of Africa. Yes. Okay, folks, I know I’m a giant viking but the staring has gotten to a level that is it rather hilarious.

Fine, fine, I live in a nation of people who stare. Really? Is it a big deal. Nawww… not really. But it does amuse me.

Okay, now, the levels.

1) The standard gawk: Pretty much what I consider the “normal” stare. I would say it runs an average of 5 seconds and people look away when I look them in the eye. Often performed on the subway or at the bus stop.

2) The street stop gawk: far more common in West Beijing near where I work, the street stop means that someone literally stops in their tracks when they see you and spends a minimum of TEN, I repeat, TEN seconds staring at you.

3) The kiddie almost cry stare: usually performed by children who don’t often see foreigners. Children are so disturbed by your presence that they stare at you like you’re the monster under the bed. And… wait for it… the face crumple… Oh wait. That’s right. You are the monster under the bed.

3) The bicycle dismount: Usually performed by elderly women and my absolute favourite, albeit rare. This happens when someone is riding along, they see me, and they decide my existence here is such a shock that it requires a stop, a complete bicycle dismount and at least a GOOD 30 second stare. That’s a minimum, mind you. This really is the top tier level of staring, and I generally get excited when it happens, almost like I have won a prize.

Okay, bye bye, I’m going out to get stared at.